Today marks the 2 month countdown until my departure. When I first accepted the position back in January my emotions were of pure excitement. While I am still excited, the nerves are also starting to kick in. Not only am I graduating from college which I have spent the last four years at, I am moving across the world. As graduation gets closer (43 days away I believe), I have begun to reflect on my time at Gannon and all the decisions that have led me to moving abroad.
I remember freshmen move in day as if it was yesterday. I was excited and beyond ready to move out and all have the freedom I had ever dreamed of in high school. I said goodbye to parents and was ready for this next adventure in my life… or so I thought. It turns out I was no where near ready to have all the freedom I had wanted. I remember my first real "college weekend" after orientation. I went to my firs frat party with my roommate and some "life-long" friends we had made during our first week (I'm currently no longer friends with anyone from freshmen year but that's another post for another time).
Standing in the basement of that frat I remember a million thoughts running through my head. First, I was happy to have friends and I thought I was finally becoming one of the "cool kids" that I had so longed to be during high school. For some reason though, I couldn't get my dad's famous "make good choices" speech out of my head. On top of that, Dan had texted me to be safe as any good big brother would on his sister's first college weekend. I specifically remember only drinking two beers that night and thinking that was fine if that's what it took to be cool and make friends.
As the weekends went on though, my dad's voice slowly began to fade and the check ins from my brother lessened. I started hanging out with my new friends more often then just the weekends and I got suckered into the lifestyle of your typical college kid. I have no one else to blame but myself because I allowed myself to continue on this path until the end of my sophomore year when I learned the hard way that if I continued to hang out with my so-called friends, I would end up selling myself short. I'd end being a fifth year senior that can't seem to graduate or worse, not being able to get certified in the field of education.
When I look back on my freshman and sophomore years at Gannon, I lower and shake my head at the decisions I made, but then I remember who I became my junior year and pick my chin back up. I moved into an apartment by myself, worked almost full time to pay rent, and still maintained a near perfect GPA. My party days were behind me and the most fun I had involved starting a new show on Netflix. While I was beginning to get back to a person I cold stand looking at in the mirror, I had a hard time forgiving myself for my previous choices. On spring break, I went on an Alternative Break Service Trip to Guatemala with my school. This tripped not only opened up my eyes to a whole new culture, but also provided the healing I had been seeking and needed. I was finally able to forgive myself for my past and truly begin to move on. This trip also intensified my love of travel.
My senior year has definitely been my best year yet. I am no longer the hermit I became junior year and have found a good balance in life. I've taken on leadership roles on campus and have been kicking butt at student teaching (if you ask me, of course). Do I think I'd be in a similar spot now if I hadn't made some questionable choices my first two years here? I do think that I'd still be president of KDP and excelling in school but I wouldn't be the same person that I am today. I wouldn't have the experiences, good and bad, that have shaped me into the very individual who is typing this blog post. Without my mistakes, current day Beth would not exist.
My past has made me weak but it has also made me stronger than ever before. I have begun to savor the little moments at college (like when Knight's serves Mexican) more, now that my time is coming to an end. On May 9, not only will I say goodbye to Gannon, I will be saying bye to the place that shaped me into the person who said "yes" to moving abroad. If I was never a naive, college freshman I could had never become an independent, adventure seeking, soon-to-be college graduate; for that reason I am thankful for all Gannon has given me during my four years.
Let the countdown begin!
